Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Canine Cosmic Verities

1. Humans invariably explain how fond they are of dogs before complaining to Boss that I am not on a leash.

2. Humans who broadcast their fondness for dogs are most likely to be authoritarian.

3. Dog walkers are okay, but dog trainers--oh, please! Like that guy with the cigar and the radio program, R.L.

4. The better the veterinarian, the greater the likelihood he/she will keep their thermometers warm.

5. When dogs fight, it is called savagery. When people fight it is called politics.

6. Dogs owned by Republicans tend to be neurotic.

7. Sometimes throwing up on a carpet is a dog's only way of making a statement.

8. Humans are surprised to get affection from cats, surprised not to get affection from dogs.

9. Working dogs have less stress than lap dogs.

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