A Dog's Guide to Dumb Places in Los Angeles

For two hours they're driving me around the Valley side of Los Angeles, making me suspicious in the first place because who goes to the Valley in Los Angeles but dog catchers and Republicans. Then they start down the 405 southbound and they're looking for Getty Circle Drive, which can only mean I'm going to log some in-car time, right?

They promise me Art's Deli for lunch, but first it's going to be Nice doggie, stay in the car, right?

Which isn't too bed a deal because, to tell the truth, I feel a nap coming on.But then we get into the parking lot and bingo, here we go. No pets. Sally is not a pet, Boss says, Sally is a dog. No dogs.

We don't want to take her into the museum.

No dogs in the parking lot. Pull your care over here and make a left turn out onto the road.

Okay, so they think fast and go to the parking lot across the street, the lot for the L___ B____ Temple. Nice man, that L____B____. Yeah, sure. They have an attitude in the parking lot there, too.

How about, I suggest, we forget this Mickey Mouse and go to Art's? I could handle some pastrami.

Boss gets behind this plan and we are off to lunch it up, then go on in to drop of grades and maybe pee on the USC lawn, show the world a dog's on the job.

Boss says piss on the Getty.

I wouldn't.